Thanksgiving in the South...

This year, I suggested to Sam that we go spend Thanksgiving in Georgia/Tennessee. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't always see eye-to-eye with my in-laws. So, I branched out and thought, what the hell?

I'll admit that I had ulterior motives. You see my friend Bethany lives in the ATL and that's a short drive to Chattanooga/Dalton. I was thinking of shopping, coffee and shenanigans. Oh, were there shenanigans. And coffee. And a little shopping.

So, we left the great state of Indiana on Wednesday evening, drove all night checked in at the lovely Chattanoogan and slept for a bit before heading over the ILs. Did I mention that I had to cook some of Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday morning. So we head to Dalton, stop at Starbucks 'cause Momma needs her Starbucks and then headed to the grocery. Can I just say that I'm pretty much the only in Bi-Lo with actual clothes on? Everyone I saw had on their freaking pajamas. I also got checked out a lot because of that. Well, that and because I'm so freaking adorable.

So we get to the ILs. Did I mention that I'm some how drafted to help cook dinner? I did? Still bitter. So I cooked. ln a kitchen with little gadgets, utensils, etc. A few hours later, we ate. And I started drinking. At the grocery, I decided to pick up a bottle of wine. My ILs don't drink, Sam does occasionally and the boys are really watching their intake so it was all me, baby. I opened the bottle and intended to have ONE glass. SO not the case. In fact, I drank the whole bottle in two-three hours. BY MYSELF. I was hammered. Unintentionally hammered but hammered nonetheless. But I was nice. And cheerful. And cordial. All because I was loaded. And my ILs are side-eyeing the crap out of me now. And I'm pretty sure they'll have wine at their house for me anytime/every time I visit. I don't know if I should be embarrassed or ashamed but I learned a valuable lesson -- drinking while with or at the ILs makes Lisa a calm, not uptight, happy and relaxed person.  I foresee wine in all future IL events.

And that is how I got through a Thanksgiving in Georgia. Wine and Bethany . And we have a few other amazeball stories to tell so watch our blogs.

**Disclaimer, no I don't have a drinking problem. No, I don't NEED wine to get me through social events or life. I need wine to get me through time at the ILs. Capeesh. Don't lecture, okay. It's not cool and kind of makes you look like an ass.***

Sorry for the lack of posting...

We have been insanely busy. It's not an excuse, it's the truth. I have a few posts brewing so I'll post either tomorrow or Tuesday. Maybe both.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season!

Did that really just happen?

Yep. I had one of those moments last night after bath time. We have an after bath ritual where the boys run around naked for a bit while we are getting their jammies and bed ready for quick placement. This usually entails getting Eli out first while Brody enjoys the last two inches of water and toy fun.

So, I got Eli out and let him run around his bedroom and jump on the bed. :gasp: I let my kids jump on the bed. Yep. I'm that mom. Anyway, as Eli was jumping around, I notice that he was squatting kind of funny so I went to investigate. About the time I get over to the bed, I smelled the foulest stench ever. I thought to myself...it smells like poo over --- OMG, Eli. Stop. Don't jump. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. OMG. TOO late. It was like this weird slow-motion situation but my almost two year old took a crap on the bed and then proceeded to bounce all in it. Only Eli could/would do that. I was mortified and dry heaving all at the same time. I yell, and I mean YELL for Brody to get out of the tub so I can toss Eli in with minimal poo damage and then run back into their room (still dry-heaving, mind you.) and start ripping bed sheets off and surveying the damage. The thought process that ran through my head is kind of comical. This morning as I was relaying this awesomeness to moo-moo, (my mother), as she watched the boys yesterday, she tells me how awesome and healthy they ate yesterday. Yes mom, I could tell what you fed my child. Disgusting.

I walk back into the bathroom to see Brody shivering from the cold-air and Eli happy as a freaking lark in the bathtub, watching the little bit of water left draining. I get them dress, put them in bed and go sit on sofa. Alone. Cracking up laughing as I think about the craziness of what just happened.

This is my life, people. Don't be jealous.

Montana should be called "Mantana"...

I'm baaaack! What a glorious 5 days, 4 nights I had in Montana.  During this trip I learned that chivalry isn't dead, the men in Montana are adorable and a vacation with friends is exactly what I needed. I learned a lot about myself this trip - more on that later. But most of all, I learned there are still nice people in the world.

I left at the crack of dawn on Thursday morning and did all the necessary airport stuff. I headed towards my gate and waited. As we started boarding the plane, I noticed an older, elderly woman struggling with her bag. A young guy, without hesitation, helped her get her bag in the overhead and seated. I smiled to myself as I heard the lady thank the gentlemen profusely. Then I started thinking: that's exactly what I want my boys to be. I want my boys to put others ahead of themselves at times and make a difference. It really melted my heart. So, my goal is teach my boys to go the extra mile, hold the door open, shake hands firmly and smile often. It might make someone's day and they will never know it!

After about 6 hours traveling, I landed in Billings. I got my luggage and headed to my rental car. Imagine my surprise when some adorable cowboy held the door for me. Score! I smiled, batted my eyelashes and thanked him nicely. I got on the road to Glendive and drove f o r e v e r (imagine that in my best Sandlot voice) and ever. About an hour before hitting Glendive, I stopped in Miles City for food and to stretch my legs. As I walked into Wendy's, another adorable Montana cowboy held the door open for me. Totally made my heart happy.

I'd like to say that if you ever have the chance of driving in Montana, do it. It's a beautiful, beautiful state. The landscape is so peaceful. So clean. Breathtaking. I'm not going to lie though, at one point I expected to see Ox and Pioneers all around but I didn't.

The moral of this story is that there are still decent people in this world. People help people when they need it, smile at you for no reason and open doors for the ladies.  Bottom line: there are some nice dudes in Montana. And there are still some douchecanoes in Montana too.

More on my Montana trip later...

Mommy's taking a vacation. By herself.

In less than 24 hours, I will be boarding a plane for Montana. I'm going to see my friend Kim and her husband, Rudy. This is the second time visiting Montana in three months. I was just there in July for Kim's wedding and it was kind of a cathartic time for me. I mean, I reconnected with a group of gals from college and our group kind of exploded. We talk often, usually over email and have even started a virtual book club. They're pretty awesome and have helped me realize that I'm still me, just a different me.

But that time away allowed me to kind of find myself again. This mom and wife thing can be pretty challenging for me sometimes. I give so much of myself to three other people that I lose a little bit of myself. I'm not saying this to be all martyr like. It's how my life is. Which is pretty funny b/c I was adamant that when I had kids, I wouldn't lose myself. I wouldn't give up me time. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I do. I'd cut a bitch for my family. But momma just needs to pee alone. I need to eat hot food. I need to remember that my name is Lisa and not just "honey" or "mommy". So, my adventure begins. I'm not sure if I'll blog from the road or I'll journal it and post later. Who knows--maybe I'll video blog (or vlog as the cool kids like to call it!)

Halloweenie?

I love Halloween. Maybe it's because my birthday is in October, who knows.

I love to make costumes for the boys. Brody's first Halloween he was Charlie Brown. Brody's second and Eli's first they were skeletons. This year, I was so stoked b/c they're finally the age where they might love it! I'd been toying with ideas, thoughts and finally came up with it at the last minute! The boys were going to be two members from the group Run DMC. They have these amazingly horrible track suits so I did some research and used some items from around the house. We had a costume party on Saturday and put their ensembs together. Awesome. No one really got it but I literally laughed ALL DAY LONG.

So, fast forward to tonight. I'm ready to put the boys in their costumes and hit the neighborhood. EPIC meltdown. Brody didn't want to wear his hat or awesome gold chain (a la my necklace) and Eli was running around like a banshee.

Halloween sucks this year. My kids want no part of it. To top it off, I didn't take any photos on Saturday so I have no documentation of my awesome idea.

Brody has moves like Jagger...

Sam and I upgraded to the new iPhone 4s, so we gave the boys our old 3gs. They were excited because they have apps and Brody has been really interested in music so he uses the iPod portion .

Let me preface this by saying we/I am super protective (like any mother out there!) about what the boys are introduced too. And that I love music. All types of music. So when I handed the phone over, I asked Sam to delete most of the music (or at least tone some of it down) so it would be kid appropriate. Yea, not so much.

The other day, before naptime after the epic Tuesday meltdown, the boys and I were laying in bed talking when Brody started to talk really fast. I couldn't quite catch what he was saying until the third time, mumbled phrase was out of his mouth. "I got mooooooves like Jagger. Moooooves like Jagger." Yep, my three old was singing, "Move like Jagger" by Maroon 5.

I had to roll over b/c a.) I was laughing so hard and b.) I was mortified. MORTIFIED. After holding in my laughter fit, I turned over and told Brody that wasn't a very nice song and we shouldn't sing it anymore. His response: "Okay, mommy." He rolled over and went to sleep.

Riiiiiiight, kiddo. Right. Nothing like a reminder to keep Mom on her toes. So, we're sticking to Lemonade Mouth (a Disney channel movie), Ok Gos rendition of the Muppet Song, Christmas music and some sprinkled in Contemporary Christian music on Brody's iPod.

That was a Charlie Sheen winning moment right there, folks. Who okayed my motherhood permit?

Wordless Wednesday

These little boys have my heart....

Mother of the Year? That's me....

Being a mom and the other 80 hats that I often wear is hard. Freaking hard. There are days that I want to run away screaming and never come back. And let's just say that any mom out there who says that thought hasn't crossed her mind often is full of crap. Completely.

Take yesterday for instance. The boys were both not feeling 100% (stupid Fall colds!) and my Tuesday sitter bailed. Thanks, Mom! No, really, she just had to work. Whatevs. So I'm home. We literally have no groceries (see above paragraph as to why!) so I thought I'd take the boys to Costco to get some necessities. They were angels in Costco. Angels. Well, I knew we'd need to eat. So I thought we'd stop by Chipotle on the way home. Apparently that sent Brody over the edge. Why? Apparently today he doesn't like burritos, tacos or nachos. Trying to explain to him that we're going in for a minute so I can get my food is like ripping his eyelashes out one by one. I digress. I had a small toddler on my hip and a screaming, large toddler standing next to me while trying to juggle my purse, be nice to the Chipotle employee, and stay calm, cool and collected.

Brody, who is usually pretty awesome and listens well, has a meltdown while walking through the doors. He doesn't want to move. So I have to drag his skinny arms through the long line all while he's tantruming. Yep. I was that mom. I order, Brody's yelling and I ignored him. I smiled and nodded like nothing was wrong all while my toddler was a heathen. I paid, got them both out to the van, buckled them both in their respective car seats and then started crying. In the Chipotle parking lot. I sobbed behind my steering wheel  for about 5 minutes. Quality. Brody kept asking me what was wrong. I wanted to yell at him for being a brat but I pulled myself together, started the van and went to McDonald's to get my rugrats food. I got the last word in though. I came home, forced them to eat lunch and put us all in bed for nap time. Nap time is divine.

Mom 1, Brody and Eli 95.

My name is Lisa and I'm trying to find my sanity.....

I’m Lisa. Married to Sam for 8 years.  Mom to Brody for three and Eli for almost two. Yep. You read that correctly. My boys are 17 months apart. No, we didn’t plan it that way. I’m going to be honest when I say that I wanted to be committed during the first three months of two under two but I survived. Barely.

And let’s just put this out there: I am a working mom by choice. GASP—the horror. My kids are growing up in the childcare system. What can I say? I like to shop, drink, eat, buy clothes for my family and take trips by myself. Without my husband and children. What? I need a break. I need to eat hot meals and pee alone. Not necessarily together.

Before I start filling you in on my life, experiences, dreams and drama, I’ll be upfront about my humor. It’s crude and inappropriate at times. I quote movie quotes in times of peril and despair. I often make fun of people because I know somewhere; SOMEONE is making fun of me. I’m okay with that. You better be okay with that.  I’m a call it like it is kind of girl and sometimes I’m right and sometimes, I’m wrong.  Let's be honest--I'm usually right. Buckle up, because it’s going to be a hilariously bumpy ride.