Letting people in your book of life...

Isn't it funny how easily we trust people? We trust them to respect us and not intentionally hurt us every day. It's like that saying on Pinterest, "Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."

It's true. I try hard to treat others the way I want them to treat me but I'm human and makes mistakes every day. I put my heart out there to get trampled on. Daily. And honestly it almost always does for a lot of reasons. People see their lives through their own perception or emotions and it's hard to change it. It's hard because we want to explain ourselves. We want our character to remain in tact. We want to be understood, not misunderstood.

Anyone that knows me, knows how much I hate to be misunderstood, especially when I come from a place of love. Or doing a good deed.

Truth is, we can't control how people see the world. What they say. How they interpret your actions and story. You just have to try daily to do the right things and as long as you can lay your head down at night and know you did your best then that's all that matters. We have to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles and sometimes it's just not personal. Sometimes it is personal though and you just have to keep on going. People are going to talk. People are going to judge. People are going to hate and you really aren't able to do anything about it if they aren't open to hearing your story. Especially as they see your world, actions or story through their life experiences.

Be kind. Love hard. Stay open. Be real. Show grace. Empathy. But always protect your heart and remember you aren't perfect.  You can't judge someone by their actions while judging yourself by your intentions.

Detoxing is hard...

Over the past almost year, I talked to certain friend nonstop. All day, every day. No matter what. Some might say it was unhealthy. I'd say that you are probably right but they were a crucial part of my life, playing the part as my best friend. Confidant. My gut-check. Voice of reason. My person.

You know the person I'm talking about. You have one of those too.

However, over the past few days I learned that this person wasn't who they said they were. So cutting them out of my life was heartbreaking but necessary. Man it hurts. Day 1 was hard. I struggled with picking up the phone and texting when I got an exciting phone call but I didn't. And I hated the fact I couldn't. I joke that I only had the shakes a few times but it's kind of true. My heart feels like something is missing. Like it hurts to breathe when I think about life without them.

But over the past year, I've learned that I deserve more. I deserve honesty. Truth. Respect. Honor. Love and so much more.

The past few days have been hard but I have learned so much about myself. I'm proud of myself. It hurts like hell but with time, I know that I'll be okay. And I hope you will be too.