Mommy has to use the potty, boys....

When did crapping alone become a luxury in my life? I know, I know - when I decided to become a mother but good grief I miss luxury craps.

I don't think I've used a bathroom alone since the day Brody was born on July 16, 2008. Dude, I even had to have help peeing after a 7 lb 11oz baby barreled through my birth canal during my hospital stay.
After we were home, it was a quick run with Brody in his bouncy seat or laying on the bathroom floor.

Then I thought when Eli was born on December 22, 2009 that I'd have a few days of peace and quiet in the hospital to bond with my baby and maybe pee alone. Nope.

The next part of this picture is having a 17 month old and newborn at home then trying to find time to take a pee by myself. Think it happened? Lord no.

Let's talk about husbands and their alone bathroom time, shall we? My husband can walk into the bathroom for 45 minutes with no one banging on the door, screaming for daddy or having a 36 inch little person burst through door like the house is on fire. Nope. He gets to read a magazine, play a game or two on the iPad, heck even make phone calls and return texts and emails.

Fast forward to the minute I walk into the bathroom, it's like this odd magnetic pull for Brody and Eli. As soon as the door shuts there's screaming, pounding on the door and brothers going haywire. Do you think my husband, if he's home, makes an attempt to stop the kids from screaming and the shenanigans so I can take a crap in silent? Think again, people. And I can't lock the door. I can't. Because when I come out of the bathroom, my bedroom, their bedroom, the living room is trashed. The fridge is open, the milk jug is on the floor - pandaemonium, people.

Never mind if he isn't home to distract them. The door is flung open, we play a game of 20 questions (riveting questions about anatomy, what I'm doing and if I need help wiping) and to top it off, I've often had to hold a crying infant or toddler or two while on the pot. Who does that?

Oh that's right - a mom does that.

Now if you excuse me, Eli has found the PBS Kids app on my iPad and turned on Barney. Do you think he's in the room now playing with and listening to that horrid app? Nope. Just another day of being a mom. Sing with me - "I love you, you love me...."

Wordless Wednesday

A small photo dump from our trip to Philly. I promise to be more active on my blog soon!

For sale : One adorable 2 year old!

For sale: My two year-old.

Eli is, to the eye, so freaking cute and huggable.

Underneath that adorable little shell is a streaker and scrapper. He loves to rip off his diaper and touch his junk. And I don't mean graze said junk, I mean go to town. We're constantly telling him to stop or take it in his room. No dice. I don't want to discourage the kid for exploring his body, but really kid? 

In case you guys were wondering -- I don't have a penis. WHAT? I know, shocker. So I'm not exactly sure what to expect and I know that it's probably going to get worse before better. Fine. 

But how does something so sweet and adorable go so bad in like 2.9 seconds?  He will walk up to his brother, hug his neck with his left hand then punch Brody in the face with his right. 

We're working through conflict management, or good ol' hitting little brother back when he wails on big brother. Oh, stop. It's about learning to stand up for one self. 

Those second kiddos seem to like to push the limits more than the first. Or maybe Eli is a lot like his momma and goes against the grain? 

All I know is that we work through the penis grabs and conflict management while trying to laugh it off and not beat anyone -- yet. I'm not against. Fine. I am. Calm down. I just drink lots of wine to work it out.

The teenage years are going to be so fun.

I want the biggest Woody ever!!!!

Brody and Eli are ub-sessed with Toy Story. We watch all three on a loop at our house and it's a little ridiculous. Brody went over to a friends house and said friend happened to have the "biggest Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys EVER!" So he made it his mission to find these toys.

It started with a special trip to Toys "R" Us for a Bucket o' Army men from Toy Story with Moo-Moo and Papaw and continued every day until he broke us. We tried to tell him that we'd buy it online but he insisted that we go to the store. So, we researched the best deal and found out that the Disney Store had them on sale last week. AND we just got our new Disney credit cards so we get an additional 10% off in-store so we made the trek. Random note: We got three of the bigger toys for the price of one. Awesome!

We head to the mall and Brody is beside himself excited. We park, walk inside and he freaks out when he sees the Disney store door.

He runs inside, finds the display of Jesse, Bullseye, Buzz, Slinky Dog, and Woody. He screams at the top of his lungs: "I want the biggest Woody EVER!!!!"  Sam and I lose it like 12 year-old boys and almost peed our pants laughing so freaking hard. Oh, who am I kidding. I peed a little. What? Two kids do a number to you. We had originally told him that he could only get Buzz and Woody but after a comment like that we came home w/ Woody, Buzz, and Slinky Dog. He tried hard to bring home Jesse and Bullseye but couldn't seal the deal.

Now we get to deal with the excessive screams to anyone who listens about "Look! Look at my biggest Woody EVER!"

Hilarious. Watch out for those Big Woody's.

Have a SUPER day!

Well, Super XLVI left a giant mark on our glorious city of Indianapolis. The boys and Sam headed to Georgia for a week to visit the ILs and while I was sad to see them go, I was happy that I didn't have to endure the pain, er, visit too. So, mama experienced Indy by herself that week.

What's most hilarious about this, is that I had grand plans on cleaning and organizing and getting stuff done. WRONG. I spent my time relaxing, sleeping (I got a wicked sore throat and laryngitis that week!), drinking and just existing. I managed to drink, celeb stalk, sleep and relax with a little of existing here and there. Did I mention the celeb-stalking? I am a complete and celeb stalking whore. What? I own it.

I'm proud to be a Hoosier. We handled XLVI with sass, style and by the balls.

Here's a photo of me w/ my favorite 90's rapper, Vanilla Ice or as I call him Rob VanWinkle. It's okay, I can call him that because we are best friends.

Word to your mutha.

PS -- Sorry for the radio silence. It won't happen again!

Thanksgiving in the South...

This year, I suggested to Sam that we go spend Thanksgiving in Georgia/Tennessee. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't always see eye-to-eye with my in-laws. So, I branched out and thought, what the hell?

I'll admit that I had ulterior motives. You see my friend Bethany lives in the ATL and that's a short drive to Chattanooga/Dalton. I was thinking of shopping, coffee and shenanigans. Oh, were there shenanigans. And coffee. And a little shopping.

So, we left the great state of Indiana on Wednesday evening, drove all night checked in at the lovely Chattanoogan and slept for a bit before heading over the ILs. Did I mention that I had to cook some of Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday morning. So we head to Dalton, stop at Starbucks 'cause Momma needs her Starbucks and then headed to the grocery. Can I just say that I'm pretty much the only in Bi-Lo with actual clothes on? Everyone I saw had on their freaking pajamas. I also got checked out a lot because of that. Well, that and because I'm so freaking adorable.

So we get to the ILs. Did I mention that I'm some how drafted to help cook dinner? I did? Still bitter. So I cooked. ln a kitchen with little gadgets, utensils, etc. A few hours later, we ate. And I started drinking. At the grocery, I decided to pick up a bottle of wine. My ILs don't drink, Sam does occasionally and the boys are really watching their intake so it was all me, baby. I opened the bottle and intended to have ONE glass. SO not the case. In fact, I drank the whole bottle in two-three hours. BY MYSELF. I was hammered. Unintentionally hammered but hammered nonetheless. But I was nice. And cheerful. And cordial. All because I was loaded. And my ILs are side-eyeing the crap out of me now. And I'm pretty sure they'll have wine at their house for me anytime/every time I visit. I don't know if I should be embarrassed or ashamed but I learned a valuable lesson -- drinking while with or at the ILs makes Lisa a calm, not uptight, happy and relaxed person.  I foresee wine in all future IL events.

And that is how I got through a Thanksgiving in Georgia. Wine and Bethany . And we have a few other amazeball stories to tell so watch our blogs.

**Disclaimer, no I don't have a drinking problem. No, I don't NEED wine to get me through social events or life. I need wine to get me through time at the ILs. Capeesh. Don't lecture, okay. It's not cool and kind of makes you look like an ass.***

Sorry for the lack of posting...

We have been insanely busy. It's not an excuse, it's the truth. I have a few posts brewing so I'll post either tomorrow or Tuesday. Maybe both.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season!